Is She Serious?!

This has nothing to do with diet or exercise. It's just completely shameful and I had to bring it to the attention of someone. Do hair extensions = starting over? Is weave worthy of People magazine covers? If so, my face could be on news stands as soon as tomorrow.

If she were really starting over, she would stop whoring around media outlets and raise all 734 of those babies. And who exactly was watching said babies during the purported 20hr long installation of these salacious tresses??

Kate actually looks more like "Secrets of the Jersey Shore." I hope she isn't in a cycle and trying to wu (lol, pun intended) Jon back by hiding her monster hair under these locks of love. :-(

Later this evening I will phone Kate and ghost write her autobiography:

Clown Car: The Story of my Womb

Is this reaaaallly working...

SW: 247.8
CW: 241.8

6lbs down.

Breakfast:
Yoplait Fruit Smoothie - 2
Boiled Egg- 2

I went to the gym during lunch BUT i'm usually farrr too lazy for those shenanigans. I'm going to give this a try tomorrow, you should too. I will call it the Office Space Challenge, 7 days and you win... self acceptance.



Lunch:
Multigrain Cherrios - 2
1/2 cup of light vanilly soy milk mmmmm sike -1

Does soy milk taste creamy to you? Or are the Cheerios making it creamy?

Dinner - im going to use the serving size to calculate points even though I was being conservative I would rather estimate over than under. some days when im feeling zesty i will use my kitchen tools to be super accurate, not tonite.

Scrambled eggs (3) 6
Butter - 3
Shredded Cheddar Cheese - 3
Thin 1
CB 1
Smoothie - 4 (16oz)

Total today 25/31


This song is GREAT for working out! I dont know if he can dance, but he definitely ran into Chris Brown picking up trash along a Virginia highway and stole his voice.

and thats what I heard...

Confessional

This morning I ate:
Arnold Select sandwich thin- 1pt
An egg over easy- 2pt
3 pieces of Jones Canadian Bacon - 1pt

SW: 247.8 (dont get excited, I was weighed at noon yesterday)
CW: 242.4 (today @ 7am)

Food Pics:

Lean Cuisine Basily something with cream sauce 6pts
Weight waters Roasted Almond Sensation (actually was pretty sensational) - 2pts
Leftover Sara Lee Carrot Cake -7pts
2 eggs scrambled 4pts
More Jones CB -1pt
1 slc american cheese 2pt
Another Sandwich Thin 1pt
Yoplait fruit smoothie with Kroger Active Lifestyle Premium Light OJ -80z -2pt

So today my mistake was the carrot cake and the lean cuisine both OK on the point scale but totally high in carbs and as I was reminded PROCESSED, which is the new Devil. Of all the carbs i plan to steer clear of im definitely keeping my Arnolds. With only 12 net carbs per sandwich they are my new Lover, official.

Point total today: 29/31

Easing on down the road

Why is that show called "are you smarter than a fifth grader?" instead of "do you remember what you learned by fifth grade?" I would nevvver volunteer to be shown up by a group of professionally trained rascals. Two degrees says I'm smarter than a fith grader mf.

Annnnnyway you can see I've made it to the couch, but only after going to THE GYM! Let's offer a praise clap for that. I only did 20 minutes on the elliptical, 3 sets of 15 squats, thigh abductor and leg press. Oh? You are concerned that I didn't do enough cardio to attend to this pooch I'm carrying around? I didn't and it wasn't by choice either. Turns out Reebok Easy Tones are a bust on the elliptical. My feet were tingly immediately which was incredibly uncomfortable for 17 of those 20 minutes. I am disappointed because I threw my old trainers out.

On the + side you can really feel the walking in your tush, which the shoes boast to improve by 28%. Any effort to boost the bum is alright by me.

I rewarded myself with three pairs of workout pants between Target and Marshalls. Right now I've consumed 13/31 pts and I fully intend to use the rest on leftovers.Goals for the week also include going to bed by midnight, baby steps.

BLTs

(B)ites, (L)icks and (T)astes

BLTs are what causes you to pack on the pounds says my newly appointed Weight Watcher's Club Team Leader. I don't know what her name is so lets just call her Carol. She is an upper-middle aged woman with a creme cardigan, red blouse and gold jewelry. Carol makes me feel dirty when she says bite, lick and taste, like I just saw her fornicate a hoho. Carol is what WWC people call a "lifer" which does not mean someone who will never get out of prison (or does it), it actually means someone who has committed their life to living WWCly. Along the way the may perform a few dog and pony shows for wanderlust chunkers and in return they'll score a trunk load of 2 point snacks.

But seriously, she seems like a nice lady who will feign delight each week if I shed a few pounds. Carol is going to lead us to victory and if all this pans out in 12 weeks, she might just get a card.

Honestly, I am surprised at myself for actually joining and abandoning my renegade ways of counting points for free, googling formulas and tracking via desktop. For the most part Im still convinced that WWC is a cult and from the looks of it, i'm headed to Waco.

I fully intend to keep a blog about my journey from chunk to crunk. Including but not limited to pointless information, pictures, snacks, workouts and loads of other surprise drivel.

In the movie Julia & Julie, Julie committed herself to blogging because she couldnt really commit to anything else in life but she was good at talking to herself. I'm greaaat at talking to myself especially talking to myself about myself being fat, so this is just out loud.

The fun doesnt begin at Greektown; it starts right here. I will post graphic pictures later, without my face in case you want to pretend its your body and get your man aroused.

SW: 247.8 (12:30pm- 1/05/10)
CW: 247.8
GW: 195 (5/27/2010)